


Unknown Number

by Neigma



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Shirabu is a closet memer, Wrong number, Yahaba may or may not be psychic, so much salt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-09-24 17:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9776846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neigma/pseuds/Neigma
Summary: [Unknown] Goshiki, morning practice has been moved from 6:00 to 5:00. Please don't be late.[You] Jesus, that's early.[You] And sorry, but I'm not Goshiki.--Yahaba gets a text from a wrong number and his life gets a little more salty.





	1. Early Morning Practice and (Finally) Getting Your Senpais Together

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I'm hopping on the bandwagon!
> 
> I'm obssessed with chat and wrong number fics. This is so self indulgent, please bear with me.
> 
> Critiques are welcome!
> 
> -Neigma

**8:50PM**

[Unknown] Goshiki, morning practice has been moved from 6:00 to 5:00. Please don't be late.

[You] Jesus, that's early  
[You] And sorry, but I'm not Goshiki

[Unknown] This isn't Goshiki Tsutomu's number?

[You] Nope

[Unknown] Ah, must have entered something wrong. Sorry for the inconvenience.

[You] It's no problem

**8:53PM**

[Unknown] Goshiki?

[You] Nope

[Unknown] You sure you're not just messing with me?

[You] Trust me, you'd know if I was messing with you

[Unknown] Is this the same person from before?

[You] Yep

[Unknown] Sorry again.

[You] It's fine, no harm done

**8:56PM**

[Unknown] Goshiki, this had better be you.

[You] It seems the third time isn't the charm

[Unknown] Fuck.  
[Unknown] How is this possible? I made sure I entered every digit right.

[You] Maybe this Goshiki person gave you the wrong number to begin with?

[Unknown] That would imply that he doesn't know his own phone number, which...  
[Unknown] quite frankly, I wouldn't be surprised by. This is Goshiki we're talking about.

[You] Is he that much of an airhead?

[Unknown] Yes, about pretty much anything outside of volleyball. It's very worrying.

[You] Poor guy  
[You] I'm assuming you play volleyball as well?

[Unknown] Yes. It's a thrilling sport.

[You] Agreed  
[You] What position do you play?

[Unknown] Setter.

[You] Oh, cool!

[Unknown] Was that sarcasm?

[You] Nope, that was completely genuine  
[You] Setters are cool!

[Unknown] Oh.

[You] Something wrong?

[Unknown] No, it's just  
[Unknown] not many people think setters are all that great. I mean, the position isn't very flashy. Most people are more impressed by the spikers.

[You] But without a setter, a spiker doesn't even get a chance to be impressive  
[You] Besides, calling my own position uncool is self hate in my book

[Unknown] That makes sense, I guess.  
[Unknown] I have to go, I still need to tell Goshiki about the practice time change somehow.

[You] Don't let me stop you, wouldn't want airhead Goshiki to be late

[Unknown] Yeah.

**9:01PM**

[Unknown] Do you mind if we  
[Unknown] um

[You] Keep talking?

[Unknown] Yeah, that.

[You] Sure, I'd like that :)  
[You] What can I call you, since we'll be staying in contact?

[Unknown] ...  
[Unknown] Kenjirou, I guess.

[You] Okay then, you can call me Shigeru :)

[Kenjirou] Alright.  
[Kenjirou] Good night, Shigeru.

[You] Good night, Kenjirou :)

~~

**6:58AM**

[You] I hate mornings  
[You] More than that, I hate Mondays  
[You] So, by that sound logic, Monday mornings are the absolute worst  
[You] Kenjirou?  
[You] Wait, you're probably at practice right now  
[You] Talk to you later, good luck! :)

**8:18AM**

[Kenjirou] Thank you, Shigeru.  
[Kenjirou] It's probably too late to wish you luck now, isn't it?

[You] A little bit, yeah, but thanks for the thought :)  
[You] How did practice go?

[Kenjirou] It went well, I think. Coach had us doing twice as many recieving drills as normal because Goshiki showed up an hour late, but I'm thankful for the practice.

[You] I take it he still hadn't heard about the time change?

[Kenjirou] That's right. I asked a senpai of mine to pass the message along, but I guess he either forgot or neglected to for shits and giggles.  
[Kenjirou] My money's on the latter, though. He's a notoriously unreliable senpai.

[You] Damn, Kenjirou  
[You] Isn't that a bit harsh?

[Kenjirou] Not in this case, no.  
[Kenjirou] I've told him as such many times and all he's said is that it's fun to tease his kouhai.  
[Kenjirou] He wears the creepiest smile when he says it, too.

[You] You have some interesting teammates, the airheaded Goshiki and the creepy senpai

[Kenjirou] Yes, yes I do. They're both excellent volleyball players, though.  
[Kenjirou] They're horrible personality-wise, but excellent volleyball players.

[You] Wow  
[You] You're very salty, you know that?

[Kenjirou] _Image attached_

[You] Oh my god  
[You] You can meme

[Kenjirou] Of course I can, I'm not incompetent.  
[Kenjirou] Is that going to be a problem?

[You] No, no, I just wasn't expecting it from you  
[You] You seem like the serious type

[Kenjirou] I am serious.  
[Kenjirou] Especially about memes.

[You] Oh my god  
[You] Ah, class is starting, gotta go!  
[You] Have a good day, Kenjirou! :)

[Kenjirou] You too.

**11:32AM**

[You] Getting food from the school store is so hectic  
[You] Why do I put myself through this?  
[You] I should just bring my own food from now on

[Kenjirou] That might be wise. Less people to deal with that way.

[You] Do you brave your school store for lunch too?

[Kenjirou] Yes, though I don't have much choice. I don't exactly have a kitchen in my dorm room.

[You] Oh, your school has dorms? Must be prestigious

[Kenjirou] It is. One of the best all-grade academies in Miyagi.

[You] Hey, another thing we have in common!

[Kenjirou] ?

[You] We're both setters from Miyagi! :)

[Kenjirou] Huh.  
[Kenjirou] Next you'll say we're both second years.

[You] That  
[You] That's actually really eerie

[Kenjirou] Wait, we're really both second years?

[You] It seems so

[Kenjirou] Creepy.

[You] Yeah

[Kenjirou] I have to go, one of my classmates has a question about the homework.

[You] Okay, talk to you later! :)

[Kenjirou] Bye.

**3:24PM**

[Kenjirou] Kill me.

[You] I'd rather not have to get away with murder, thanks  
[You] It didn't work so well last time

[Kenjirou] Last time?

[You] ;)

[Kenjirou] You know what, never mind. I don't want to know.  
[Kenjirou] How do you tell someone you highly respect that they're denser than a brick without saying they're denser than a brick?

[You] "Thou hast a thicker skull than a stone-like material commonly used in building projects"

[Kenjirou] Poetic, Shakespeare, but that might just confuse him more. He's very blunt and straightforward.

[You] "All due respect, but you're denser than a brick"

[Kenjirou] Never mind. I don't even know why I asked you.

[You] No, I'm sorry, I'll stop  
[You] Let me guess, two of your senpais are pining after each other and it's getting ridiculous?

[Kenjirou] That's  
[Kenjirou] really scarily accurate, actually. How did you guess?

[You] I've been in the same situation  
[You] Our captain and ace were so into each other it was gross, but they only started dating after two other third years on the team locked them in the storage closet and refused to let them out until they confessed to each other  
[You] It was actually pretty funny

[Kenjirou] ...  
[Kenjirou] That might work, actually.  
[Kenjirou] Thanks, Shigeru.

[You] Anytime, Kenjirou :)  
[You] Let me know how it goes?

[Kenjirou] I'll keep you updated.

[You] :D

**6:19PM**

[Kenjirou] Update: I've locked them in the storage closet with another teammate's help.

[You] It took you three hours just to accomplish that?

[Kenjirou] I couldn't very well do it during practice. Coach makes us run extra laps if he catches anyone slacking off.

[You] Damn, and your afternoon practices last three hours?  
[You] RIP In Pieces, Kenjirou :(

[Kenjirou] _Image attached_

[You] No, this is not fine, this is no time for memes

[Kenjirou] It's always time for memes.

[You] Oh my god

[Kenjirou] Update: They've stopped banging on the door and are talking quietly.

[You] They're probably either confessing or scheming a way out

[Kenjirou] I wouldn't bet on the latter. The one who's denser than a brick usually stops any scheming before it happens.

[You] I'm going to start calling him Dense-senpai, "The one who's denser than a brick" is too much to type every time  
[You] Who's the other pining senpai? I want to put a nickname to a description

[Kenjirou] Believe it or not, it's the creepy guess blocker I told you about.

[You] Oh my god

[Kenjirou] I know right? I honestly don't know what Dense-senpai sees in him.

[You] I'm going to call him Guess-senpai

[Kenjirou] Fitting.

[You] What's happening now?  
[You] Are they making out yet?  
[You] I need details, Kenjirou, you can't just leave me hanging like this :(

[Kenjirou] Calm down, I'm checking on them.  
[Kenjirou] Update: Fucking finally!

[You] Yes, they're making out!

[Kenjirou] I swear you are some kind of psychic.  
[Kenjirou] They're all over each other.  
[Kenjirou] It's so gross but so fulfilling.

[You] Congratulate them for me :)

[Kenjirou] Sorry, I can't do that.

[You] Aw, why not?

[Kenjirou] If they knew about you, Guess-senpai would take my phone and that would be Very Bad.

[You] Why? Do you have a blackmail folder on there?

[Kenjirou] You are a fucking psychic, how the fuck could you have guessed that?

[You] I have one too ;)

[Kenjirou] Better watch your back, Shigeru.

[You] Same to you, Kenjirou ;)  
[You] Ok, seriously, it's really late  
[You] Go back to your dorm and sleep

[Kenjirou] I've still got homework to do.

[You] Well then go home, get it done, and get to bed you walking salt shaker

[Kenjirou] Alright, Mom, geez.

[You] Good night, Kenjirou ;)

[Kenjirou] There's absolutely nothing for you to wink about, so  
[Kenjirou] _Image attached_

[You] GOOD NIGHT KENJIROU

[Kenjirou] Night, Shigeru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two are so salty I think I have high blood pressure.
> 
> Three guesses who the pining senpais were. Winner gets a cookie.
> 
> Images sent in order of appearance:
> 
> -Salt Guy meme  
> -This Is Fine comic  
> -Monsters Inc.: Mike Wazowski pointing menacingly at Sully with the words "put that thing back where it came from or so help me" at the bottom of the picture
> 
> Critiques are welcome!
> 
> -Neigma


	2. Noisy Neighbors and Sending The First Selfie to Prove You're Not Blushing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the fastest I've ever updated a writing project in my entire life. Go me!
> 
> Critiques are welcome!
> 
> -Neigma

**3:14AM**

[Kenjirou] Shigeru.  
[Kenjirou] Shigeru, wake up.  
[Kenjirou] I need a distraction, Shigeru.  
[Kenjirou] Shigeru.  
[Kenjirou] Shigeru, I'm dying.  
[Kenjirou] If I die young  
[Kenjirou] Bury me in satin  
[Kenjirou] Lay me down on a  
[Kenjirou] bed of roses  
[Kenjirou] Sink me in the river  
[Kenjirou] at dawn  
[Kenjirou] Send me away with the words of a love song  
[Kenjirou] My god, you sleep like a log.  
[Kenjirou] SHI  
[Kenjirou] GE  
[Kenjirou] RU  
[Kenjirou] WAKE  
[Kenjirou] THE  
[Kenjirou] FUCK  
[Kenjirou] UP  
[Kenjirou] Alright, you asked for it.  
[Kenjirou] _Audio file attached_

[You] Jesus Christ what is this fresh hell at 3 in the morning

[Kenjirou] Fucking finally.

[You] Kenjirou why the fuck are you awake at ass-o'clock

[Kenjirou] I can't sleep.

[You] Have you even tried to

[Kenjirou] Believe me, I have.  
[Kenjirou] But the people in the dorm next to mine have been going at it for the past three hours and the noise is driving me insane.

[You] Oh my god  
[You] Dude, are your next door neighbors doing the nasty?

[Kenjirou] Yes.  
[Kenjirou] And I am Suffering.

[You] And they've been going at it for three hours?

[Kenjirou] Unfortunately.

[You] How have they kept it up this long?

[Kenjirou] Honestly, I don't even want to know.

[You] Do you know anyone who would be willing to let you crash in their room?

[Kenjirou] Not really.  
[Kenjirou] Not anyone I can stand and/or wouldn't feel bad about asking.

[You] Wait a second, you have a roommate, don't you?

[Kenjirou] Yeah.

[You] How is he handling it?

[Kenjirou] He's one of the ones making all the noise.

[You] Oh my god

[Kenjirou] Why me?  
[Kenjirou] What did I do to deserve this?

[You] I think it might have been the memes

[Kenjirou] I came here to have a good time  
[Kenjirou] and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.

[You] Jesus Christ, Kenjirou

[Kenjirou] How about I just moan really loudly and kick the wall a few times, see how they like it.

[You] No, Kenjirou, you have to set a good example

[Kenjirou] Shigeru.  
[Kenjirou] Sweetheart.  
[Kenjirou] Have you met me?  
[Kenjirou] I'm way too petty for that.

[You] Oh, right, you're a walking, meme-ing salt shaker, how could I forget?  
[You] But while we're on the subject: would you ever want to meet in real life?

**3:23AM**

[You] Kenjirou? You still there?

[Kenjirou] Yeah, sorry, I just  
[Kenjirou] I had to think for a second.

[You] Does that mean you don't want to? :(

[Kenjirou] No, I don't think so.  
[Kenjirou] I mean, I might want to meet you.  
[Kenjirou] Someday.

[You] I'll take that as a yes! :D

[Kenjirou] No, take it as a maybe.  
[Kenjirou] Because that's literally all it is right now.

[You] Too late, I'm already looking forward to it ;)

[Kenjirou] SHIGERU.

[You] Hush, Salty Child, you'll disturb the neighbors

[Kenjirou] You seem to forget that the neighbors are the ones disturbing me.

[You] Lead by example, Kenjirou

[Kenjirou] Hang on a second.

[You] ?

[Kenjirou] ...

[You] Should I be concerned?

[Kenjirou] Nope, because they finally stopped.  
[Kenjirou] This is a fucking miracle.  
[Kenjirou] I can actually sleep now, god damn.

[You] Go catch your z's, Salty Child

[Kenjirou] ...  
[Kenjirou] Thanks for staying up with me.

[You] Anytime :)

[Kenjirou] Night, Shigeru.

[You] Sweet dreams, Kenjirou :)

**4:01AM**

[You] Fuck, now I can't sleep >:(

~~

**6:04AM**

[You] Have I ever mentioned how dead I am?  
[You] Because I'm very dead  
[You] Good luck at practice! :)

**8:32AM**

[Kenjirou] Are you just running on not enough sleep or am I actually texting one of the undead?

[You] The first one  
[You] I couldn't get back to sleep after you woke me up :(

[Kenjirou] Sorry.

[You] Nah, it's alright  
[You] You have no control over when people decide to do the do

[Kenjirou] I still kinda feel bad now, though.  
[Kenjirou] I never thought I would ever say that to anyone in my life.  
[Kenjirou] You should feel special.

[You] Oh, I feel very special  
[You] Especially Dead  
[You] But seriously, I'm happy you care :)

[Kenjirou] What?  
[Kenjirou] No, I don't care, what are you talking about?  
[Kenjirou] That would be stupid.

[You] Tsun, Tsun, Dere, Dere :3c

[Kenjirou] _Image attached_

[You] You just had to bring Grumpy Cat into this, didn't you?

**11:04AM**

[You] Hey  
[You] Kenjirou  
[You] My sweet, Salty Child

[Kenjirou] Do you realize the irony in that?  
[Kenjirou] Also, why the fuck are you texting me during class?

[You] I've finished all my class work and I'm bored

[Kenjirou] Seriously?

[You] Believe it

[Kenjirou] Okay, wow, that  
[Kenjirou] that was physically painful to read.  
[Kenjirou] Please tell me you're not a Naruto stan.

[You] Nope!

[Kenjirou] Oh thank god.  
[Kenjirou] You remember Guess-senpai?

[You] Yep

[Kenjirou] He's a huge Naruto stan and reads Shounen Jump religiously.  
[Kenjirou] Once he wouldn't stop saying "believe it" for a week straight.  
[Kenjirou] I wanted to punch him in the face.  
[Kenjirou] But I didn't because I'm a decent person who respects his senpais.

[You] Ha!  
[You] Decent

[Kenjirou] You shut your fuck.

[You] Do you know any good jokes?

[Kenjirou] My life?

[You] Try again

[Kenjirou] My love life?

[You] Okay, the self loathing can stop

[Kenjirou] _Image attached_

[You] Remind me why I like talking to you?

[Kenjirou] I'm a fucking delight.

[You] Sure, Jan

[Kenjirou] Wait a second.

[You] What is it, Salty Child?

[Kenjirou] You actually like talking to me?

[You] Um...  
[You] Yeah?

[Kenjirou] Are you sure about that?

[You] Fairly sure, yeah

[Kenjirou] I just  
[Kenjirou] I  
[Kenjirou] What?

[You] I like talking to you, Kenjirou  
[You] How is that such a hard concept?

[Kenjirou] It's not, I just  
[Kenjirou] No one really says that about me.

[You] Aw, Kenjirou, are you blushing?  
[You] That's adorable!

[Kenjirou] No, I am not blushing!  
[Kenjirou] Why the fuck would I be blushing?  
[Kenjirou] And I'm not adorable, shut up!

[You] You totally are! You're blushing!

[Kenjirou] No I'm not, asshole!  
[Kenjirou] _Image attached_  
[Kenjirou] See?

**11:35AM**

[Kenjirou] Shigeru?  
[Kenjirou] You still there?

[You] Holy fuck

[Kenjirou] What?

[You] Holy flying fuck

[Kenjirou] What is it?

[You] Kenjirou, I  
[You] Fuck

[Kenjirou] Oh my god, what? What's wrong?

[You] What the fuck is up with your hair?

[Kenjirou] What.

[You] Did you cut that yourself, or do you just bring a protractor to every hair appointment to make sure they get the angle right?  
[You] Jesus fuck I can't breathe help

[Kenjirou] THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY HAIR!

[You] Sure, Jan

[Kenjirou] SHUT

[You] Shut?

[Kenjirou] UP!

[You] Hahaha  
[You] My sides hurt now  
[You] Good job, Kenjirou

[Kenjirou] Honestly, fuck you.

[You] At least take me out to dinner first

[Kenjirou] Better yet: fuck off.

**11:42AM**

[You] Seriously, though, you're cute :)

[Kenjirou] I  
[Kenjirou] Fuck

[You] You're blushing again, aren't you?

[Kenjirou] NO I'M NOT, SHUT UP!

[You] ;)

[Kenjirou] FUCK.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shirabu was totally blushing, don't let him fool you.
> 
> Attachments in order of appearance:  
> -Hello by Adelle  
> -Grumpy Cat with the caption "NO"  
> -Can't Stop Won't Stop meme  
> -A selfie of Shirabu in an emptying classroom, glaring at the camera with a barely noticeable blush on his face
> 
> Critiques are welcome!
> 
> -Neigma


	3. Senpai Stealing Your Phone and Using An Emoji For The First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is starting to become a weekly thing.
> 
> Course I might just drop it unexpectedly. Knock on wood and hope that doesn't happen.
> 
> Critiques are welcome!
> 
> -Neigma

**3:19PM**

[Kenjirou] hello is this Kenjirou's textin buddy? (@w@)

[You] I guess? Who is this?

[Kenjirou] surely our dear Kenjirou has told you about me ~(@w@)~  
[Kenjirou] ⭐MIRACLE BOY⭐  
[Kenjirou] ⭐SA⭐  
[Kenjirou] ⭐TO⭐  
[Kenjirou] ⭐RI⭐  
[Kenjirou] right?

[You] Um  
[You] Kenjirou's only mentioned one of his teammates' names, and it was on accident  
[You] So, no, I don't know a Miracle Boy Satori  
[You] Sorry

[Kenjirou] well that just won't do  
[Kenjirou] i am Tendou Satori  
[Kenjirou] people call me the Guess Monster ~(@w@)~

[You] Oh, Kenjirou has mentioned you  
[You] He said you're creepy and scarily good at guess blocking

[Kenjirou] yep that sounds like something he'd say  
[Kenjirou] he's a smol lil salt shaker and we love him ~(@w@)~

[You] I can't disagree

[Kenjirou] (@o@) !!!

[You] ?

[Kenjirou] oh nothing don't even think about it no worries~

[You] Okay then?

[Kenjirou] woops Kenjirou's comin  
[Kenjirou] i leave you with this parting gift before i die  
[Kenjirou] _Image attached_

[You] Yikes

[Kenjirou] gotta blast~  
[Kenjirou] be good to our precious setter ~(@w@)~

[You] Okay?  
[You] Better run fast, Tendou-san

**3:26PM**

[Kenjirou] Please tell me he didn't say anything weird.

[You] Scroll up

[Kenjirou] Oh god why  
[Kenjirou] Why did he have to use that stupid catchphrase  
[Kenjirou] He even made fun of my height, Jesus Christ

[You] I'm not sure what that one emoji was about, either

[Kenjirou] Honestly I don't even want to know.  
[Kenjirou] UGH.  
[Kenjirou] I need to blow off some steam. Text you after practice?

[You] Sure  
[You] Talk to you later :)

**6:22PM**

[Kenjirou] _Image attached_  
[Kenjirou] Take that, Tendou-san.

[You] Jesus Christ, is he really dead?

[Kenjirou] He wishes he was, trust me.

[You] Who's that lying down with him?

[Kenjirou] Quick question first.

[You] Shoot :)

[Kenjirou] Can I trust you with my teammates' names?  
[Kenjirou] Like you won't go out of your way to embarrass them or me or anything like that?

[You] Yeah, of course, Kenjirou  
[You] I can even tell you my teammates' names, if you want?

[Kenjirou] No, I don't think that's necessary right now.  
[Kenjirou] I might ask later, though.

[You] Okay, whatever you're comfortable with :)

[Kenjirou] Okay so  
[Kenjirou] The one lying down next to Tendou-san is Ushijima-senpai, or Dense-senpai as we've been calling him  
[Kenjirou] The one poking Tendou-san is Semi-san  
[Kenjirou] And the one freaking out in the background is Goshiki.

[You] Wow

[Kenjirou] Yeah.  
[Kenjirou] My team is insane.

[You] Can I ask you something?

[Kenjirou] Ask away.

[You] Do you go to Shiratorizawa?

[Kenjirou] You recognized Ushijima-senpai, didn't you?

[You] Yeah  
[You] You guys are really strong

[Kenjirou] Thank you, Shigeru.  
[Kenjirou] That means a lot.

[You] You're welcome :)  
[You] My team has played yours, but I was on the sidelines the whole game

[Kenjirou] What team are you on?

[You] Aoba Johsai

[Kenjirou] Oh...

[You] Yeah, Oikawa-senpai hates you guys' guts  
[You] Especially Ushijima-san

[Kenjirou] Um  
[Kenjirou] Do you?

[You] What, hate you guys' guts?

[Kenjirou] Yeah, that.

[You] Nah  
[You] I admire your strength  
[You] Hating you guys is more of a senpai v. senpai thing

[Kenjirou] Okay, that's good.  
[Kenjirou] I don't think Ushijima-senpai hates Oikawa-san though?

[You] From what I've heard, Ushijima-san kept trying to recruit Oikawa-senpai for a while  
[You] "You should have come to Shiratorizawa" and such

[Kenjirou] He had the team's best interests at heart.  
[Kenjirou] At the time.  
[Kenjirou] Doesn't mean I liked it, though.

[You] Haha :)  
[You] So I was right when I pegged you for the fiercely-loyal type

[Kenjirou] Of course.  
[Kenjirou] I'm back at my dorm and I've got homework to do, so I'll talk to you tomorrow.

[You] Okay  
[You] Good night, Kenjirou :)

[Kenjirou] Night, Shigeru.

~~

**4:56AM**

[Kenjirou] Um  
[Kenjirou] I just realized that you know what I look like, but I don't know what you look like  
[Kenjirou] So  
[Kenjirou] Uh  
[Kenjirou] You know what, never mind. This is stupid.  
[Kenjirou] You're probably not even awake yet.  
[Kenjirou] Text you later.  
[Kenjirou] Good luck at practice.

**6:03AM**

[You] _Image attached_  
[You] Ask and ye shall receive, Kenjirou ;)  
[You] And it's not stupid to ask me for stuff  
[You] I'll tell you if I'm uncomfortable with anything, don't worry :)  
[You] Good luck to you, too!

**8:28AM**

[Kenjirou] Wow.  
[Kenjirou] And you made fun of my hairstyle.

[You] :/  
[You] I guess I deserved that

[Kenjirou] You look like a creampuff.  
[Kenjirou] An unfairly pretty creampuff.

[You] I'm not sure if that was supposed to be an insult of a complement

[Kenjirou] Insult.  
[Kenjirou] Definitely insult.

[You] Okay  
[You] Sounds fake, but okay

[Kenjirou] Shut  
[Kenjirou] Your  
[Kenjirou] Fuck  
[Kenjirou] :)

[You] Holy fuck  
[You] Holy shit  
[You] Holy fuck shit  
[You] Someone call a doctor I'm going into cardiac arrest  
[You] KENJIROU USED AN EMOJI

[Kenjirou] Why are you being so dramatic?

[You] This is a momentous occasion Kenjirou

[Kenjirou] No, it's not.  
[Kenjirou] Yes, I used an emoji.  
[Kenjirou] But I used it passive-aggressively.

[You] That doesn't change the fact that you USED IT  
[You] I'm so proud of you, my Sweet Salty Child  
[You] I'm weeping tears of joy

[Kenjirou] You can stop anytime now, Shigeru.

[You] No, I really can't  
[You] I kind of want to hug you to celebrate this accomplishment  
[You] Can I come over to Shiratorizawa and hug you?

[Kenjirou] Hell no, idiot, we both have school

[You] Aw :(  
[You] You suck :P

[Kenjirou] Don't you stick your tongue out at me.

[You] ;P

[Kenjirou] STOP  
[Kenjirou] OH GOD THAT HURTS TO LOOK AT

[You] ;)

[Kenjirou] GO TO CLASS

[You] ;) ;) ;)

[Kenjirou] GOODBYE SHIGERU

[You] You know you love me ;)

**8:36AM**

[Kenjirou] ...unfortunately, yeah.

[You] Aw, Kenjirou! :D

[Kenjirou] YOU CAN SHUT YOUR FACE HOLE

[You] <3

[Kenjirou] GOD DAMMIT SHIGERU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feat. Tendou stealing Shirabu's phone and consequently being murdered. RIP in peace, Tendou.
> 
> Now they both know what the other looks like! :D
> 
> Attachments in order of appearance:  
> -a selfie of Tendou holding up a peace sign with a livid Shirabu in the background  
> -a picture of Tendou lying on the ground being poked by Semi, Ushijima lying next to him, while Goshiki freaks out a few feet away  
> -a selfie of Yahaba standing in front of a locker, holding up a peace sign
> 
> Critiques are welcome!
> 
> -Neigma


	4. Your QPP Needing a Recharge and Can I Call You, Maybe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My life has been a derp recently, but then again, what else is new? :/
> 
> Critiques are appreciated!
> 
> -Neigma

**11:33AM**

[You] !!!

[Kenjirou] Why the silent excitement?

[You] _Image attached_  
[You] !!!!!!

[Kenjirou] ...  
[Kenjirou] According to all known laws of aviation

[You] Not even your memes can ruin this right now

[Kenjirou] Okay, but was he going for Angry Bumblebee or what?

[You] I actually asked him that once and he just growled at me, so I can neither confirm nor deny  
[You] But that's not important right now  
[You] He's sleeping on my shoulder!!!

[Kenjirou] You alright over there, Shigeru?

[You] Not at all, I'm kind of freaking out right now  
[You] Like the kind of freaking out where my chest is tight and I'm squealing a bit

[Kenjirou] Who is that guy, anyway?

[You] Kyoutani, a wing spiker on my team

[Kenjirou] What's so monumental about him using you as a pillow?

[You] He's never done this before  
[You] Well, we're QPPs, so it's not like we've never touched before, but I'm usually the one initiating things because he's aro  
[You] But just now he up and laid his head on my shoulder, mumbled something about needing a recharge, and fell asleep  
[You] This is by far the cutest thing he's ever done

[Kenjirou] What do you mean by QPPs?

[You] Oh, it stands for Queer Platonic Partners  
[You] It just means that we hug, kiss, and hold hands and stuff, but we're not actually dating

[Kenjirou] Oh.  
[Kenjirou] I didn't know that was a thing.

[You] It's a thing  
[You] He's pretty open about me dating other people, though  
[You] ...as long as he gets to size them up before we make it official

[Kenjirou] "Size them up"?

[You] He basically just glares at them and says that if they break my heart, he'll break them  
[You] He isn't really one to hurt people intentionally, though :/

[Kenjirou] I guess that means he really does care about you.

[You] Yeah :)  
[You] What are you up to?

[Kenjirou] _Image attached_  
[Kenjirou] Eating with Taichi.

[You] He a friend of yours?

[Kenjirou] Are you kidding, I barely tolerate people as a whole.  
[Kenjirou] He just scoffed and said that he's my only friend.  
[Kenjirou] Asshole.

[You] Hahaha  
[You] Hi Taichi-kun :)

[Kenjirou] He says hi.

[You] :)  
[You] How do you know each other?

[Kenjirou] We're both on the volleyball team.

[You] Ah

[Kenjirou] He's also my roommate.

[You] Oh, cool

[Kenjirou] Wait for it...

[You] Wait

[Kenjirou] And there it is.

[You] Oh my god  
[You] Was he the one who  
[You] You know

[Kenjirou] Joined the people having sex next door for three straight hours and kept me up past three in the god damn morning?  
[Kenjirou] Yes. Yes he is.

[You] Oh my god

[Kenjirou] Taichi just did finger guns at me and said "ten outa ten, would do again" and I am Disgusted.

[You] Jesus Christ, is Shiratorizawa the designated Meme Team or something?

[Kenjirou] Taichi says "absolutely" and I'm not even going to argue with that.

[You] Oh my god

[Kenjirou] Tendou-san is probably the biggest memer out of all of us, though.

[You] Remind me to Never Under Any Circumstances introduce him to Matsukawa-senpai and Hanamaki-senpai

[Kenjirou] Who are they?

[You] The third years who locked our ace and captain in the storage closet to get them together

[Kenjirou] Tell them they're geniuses.

[You] They'll probably grill me if I just say that out of the blue  
[You] Like, my blackmail folder is amazing and all, but theirs is Extensive and I don't want to be added to it

[Kenjirou] The point still stands.

[You] I didn't deny it  
[You] And that's the bell, gotta wake Kyoutani up and get to class  
[You] Bye, Kenjirou :)

[Kenjirou] Bye Shigeru.

**3:21PM**

[You] _Image attached_  
[You] Look who I just caught sleeping in the locker room  <3

[Kenjirou] Well that's not fair.

[You] What's not fair?

[Kenjirou] You can't just send me something like that.  
[Kenjirou] My teeth will rot and I'll get diabetes.

[You] Sorry, can't help it  
[You] Our first years are adorable and must be shared with the world <3

[Kenjirou] Tone it down a bit, Mom.

[You] ;)

[Kenjirou] That is not a face a mother should make.

[You] Not with the kids around ;)

[Kenjirou] Ew, Shigeru, no.

[You] Anyway, gotta wake these two up for practice  
[You] See ya Kenjirou :)

[Kenjirou] Good luck.

[You] You too!

**6:35PM**

[You] Hey :)

**6:41PM**

[You] Kenjirou?

**6:48PM**

[You] Well, I've got a lot of homework, so  
[You] Text you tomorrow, I guess :/

~~

**4:52AM**

[Kenjirou] Ow.  
[Kenjirou] Ow.  
[Kenjirou] Ow.  
[Kenjirou] Everything hurts.  
[Kenjirou] I don't want to practice today.  
[Kenjirou] I crave death.  
[Kenjirou] Please kill me.  
[Kenjirou] So much pain.  
[Kenjirou] Never mind, practice will kill me, I'm calling it now.  
[Kenjirou] See ya.

**6:05AM**

[You] At least you're not dying of secondhand embarrassment this time, right?  
[You] Good luck :)

**8:29AM**

[Kenjirou] Honestly I'd prefer secondhand embarrassment to being this sore.

[You] You didn't pull anything, did you?

[Kenjirou] I don't think so.  
[Kenjirou] There's just this dull, pulsing ache everywhere.  
[Kenjirou] I never want to move again.

[You] Does this have something to do with why you didn't respond after practice yesterday?

[Kenjirou] Yeah. Sorry about that.  
[Kenjirou] Goshiki wanted to get in some extra spiking practice.  
[Kenjirou] And by "some" I mean "three hours' worth".  
[Kenjirou] That kid has too much energy.

[You] It's good to get in some extra practice every now and then  
[You] Maybe try not to overdo it, though

[Kenjirou] You are such a god damn Mom Shigeru.

[You] The odd thing is that Watari (our libero) is more Mom-like than me

[Kenjirou] The Mom of all Moms.  
[Kenjirou] Super Mom.

[You] Ooh, I like that!

[Kenjirou] Thank you, I try.

[You] And Watari is now Super Mom in my contacts  
[You] If he asks I'm blaming you

[Kenjirou] Please do, I'd take credit for that any day.

[You] How humble of you, Kenjirou!

[Kenjirou] Your mouth is a thing that needs to shut.

[You] But we're texting :/

[Kenjirou] Smartass.

[You] You know it ;)

[Kenjirou] #SomeonePrayForMe2k17

[You] ;)  
[You] Class is starting, text you later

[Kenjirou] Bye.

**11:32AM**

[You] Hey, Kenjirou?

[Kenjirou] Yeah?

[You] I've got a sort of sudden question to ask you  
[You] Like, our entire friendship could hinge on how you react to this

[Kenjirou] Is that what this is? Friendship? I had no idea.

[You] Very funny, asshole, I'm trying to be serious here

[Kenjirou] Alright, I'm sorry.  
[Kenjirou] What did you want to ask?

**11:35AM**

[Kenjirou] Shigeru? You still there?

[You] Yeah, I'm here, just...  
[You] collecting my thoughts

[Kenjirou] Whenever you're ready.

**11:36AM**

[You] Okay, I think I'm good now  
[You] Can I, um  
[You] Can I call you?  
[You] Like, not now obviously, but  
[You] Sometime in the near future?  
[You] Maybe?  
[You] Never mind, you don't have to answer, I just wanted to... get that out there.

[Kenjirou] Well, if you would shut up for a minute.

[You] Sorry

[Kenjirou] It's okay.  
[Kenjirou] I was going to say that I'd like that.  
[Kenjirou] Calling you sometime, I mean.

[You] Oh  
[You] I, uh  
[You] Okay  
[You] That's  
[You] That's good  
[You] I'm just gonna  
[You] Go before I embarrass myself more  
[You] Bye, Kenjirou  
[You] <3

[Kenjirou] Bye, Shigeru.  
[Kenjirou] ...  
[Kenjirou] <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, as Shirabu is sending his first heart, Yahaba is hiding his face in Kyoutani's shoulder, trying not to squeal too loudly from giddyness. He's handling it well, I think.
> 
> Attachments in order of appearance:  
> -an awkwardly angled picture of Kyoutani, asleep on Yahaba's shoulder  
> -a picture of Shirabu and Kawanishi, sitting next to each other, Kawanishi with bread in his mouth and holding up a peace sign  
> -a picture of Kindaichi and Kunimi leaning on each other, sleeping against the wall
> 
> Critiques are appreciated!
> 
> -Neigma


	5. Alien Boxers and This Sounds Really, REALLY Gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so long...
> 
> I'm sorry for making you all wait. While writing this chapter, some major things happened:
> 
> -I had to get my grades up to snuff for the end of the year  
> -And I recently graduated from high school! POP THOSE CONFETTI POPPERS!
> 
> Actually, no, don't pop any confetti poppers. No one wants to clean that up.
> 
> Anyway, it's finally here! Enjoy!
> 
> Critiques are welcome!
> 
> -Neigma

**3:19PM**

[You] Holy shit  
[You] Kenjirou check this out  
[You] _Image attached_

[Kenjirou] What the fuck are those?

[You] Oikawa-senpai is wearing alien boxers  
[You] ALIEN BOXERS

[Kenjirou] How much you wanna bet he has the entire X-Files box set?

[You] Oh, he has it  
[You] Iwaizumi-senpai all but confirmed it when he was dragging Oikawa-senpai out of practice one day to, and I quote, "actually get some fucking sleep for once, Shittykawa"  
[You] Apparently Oikawa-senpai marathoned the X-Files after his girlfriend dumped him

[Kenjirou] Picture saved and conversation screenshotted.  
[Kenjirou] Also I'm calling Oikawa-san "Shittykawa-san" from now on.

[You] He'll probably aim a serve at your head for that

[Kenjirou] Which is why I have the rest of my team to build a wall out of.  
[Kenjirou] They're all taller than me and it sucks.

[You] Hey, free meat shields, right?

[Kenjirou] That's literally the only reason I keep Goshiki around.

[You] Oh my god

**3:21PM**

[You] Hey, how tall are you, anyway?

[Kenjirou] I want to say 174cm but it's been a while since I measured.

[You] ...

[Kenjirou] What, nothing to say about my height?

[You] ...you're shorter than me

[Kenjirou] Blocked.

[You] Oh my god _(Not sent)_

**3:24PM**

[You] Kenjirou? _(Not sent)_  
[You] My Sweet Salty Child? _(Not sent)_  
[You] Oh my god, did you actually block me? _(Not sent)_  
[You] Rude, Kenjirou _(Not sent)_  
[You] I am Offended _(Not sent)_  
[You] This is just petty _(Not sent)_  
[You[ :'( _(Not sent)_  
[You] Guess I'll talk to you later, then _(Not sent)_  
[You] If you UNBLOCK ME  >:( _(Not sent)_

**6:32PM**

[You] Have you unblocked me yet? :'(

[Kenjirou] Seen✓ 6:32PM

[You] Kenjirou >:(

[Kenjirou] That's what you get.

[You] I literally just said you're shorter than me  
[You] I was stating a fact

[Kenjirou] It felt more like a Personal Attack.

[You] Kenjirou, I'm 181cm tall  
[You] You're 174cm  
[You] You're shorter than me  
[You] It's a fact.

[Kenjirou] Personal.  
[Kenjirou] Attack.

[You] Being short has nothing to do with how well you play volleyball, if that's what this is about  
[You] Just look at Karasuno's #10

[Kenjirou] That's not it.

[You] Then what is it?

[Kenjirou] You'll think it's stupid.

[You] No I won't

[Kenjirou] Are you sure about that?

[You] Kenjirou, just tell me

[Kenjirou] Fine.  
[Kenjirou] Tendou-san rubs it in my face all the time.  
[Kenjirou] By draping himself over me.  
[Kenjirou] And he's fucking heavy.

[You] ...so he puts his chin on your head or something?

[Kenjirou] He takes it to the extreme.

[You] Oh

[Kenjirou] Yeah, "oh". Now can we stop talking about how tall I am?

[You] ...sure

[Kenjirou] You're not saying something. It's an insult and you're not saying it. Spill.

[You] No comment

[Kenjirou] Shigeru.

[You] Suddenly I can't read?

[Kenjirou] SHIGERU.

**Blocked** [Kenjirou] **.**

~~

**7:51AM**

**Unblocked** [Kenjirou] **.**

[Kenjirou] *inhale*  
[Kenjirou] BOI

[You] I'm sorry, please don't kill me

[Kenjirou] WHEN WE MEET THIS SUNDAY I AM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU.

[You] Please don't, I happen to like breathing

[Kenjirou] YOU BETTER ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN.

[You] Wait  
[You] Since when are we meeting this Sunday?

**7:52AM**

[You] Kenjirou, you've been typing off and on for a while now, what's wrong?

[Kenjirou] FUCK

[You] ???

[Kenjirou} I'M SUCH A GOD DAMN IDIOT

[You] ??????

**7:53AM**

[Kenjirou] hi, this is Taichi.

[You] Um, hi  
[You] What's going on with Kenjirou?

[Kenjirou] i was just about to ask you the same thing. Shirabu just started hitting his head on his desk and muttering about how stupid he is.

[You] Shirabu?

[Kenjirou] Shirabu Kenjirou.

[You] Ah, ok  
[You] I'm not exactly sure why, honestly  
[You] He just text yelled at me about how he's going to strangle me when we meet this Sunday

[Kenjirou] you're meeting?

[You] Yeah  
[You] I mean, we've agreed we'd like to meet at some point, but this is the first I've heard of it happening this Sunday

[Kenjirou] ...  
[Kenjirou] well fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

[You] ???

[Kenjirou] Shirabu's gonna kill me for this later.

[You] Oh boy

[Kenjirou] he once had this major crush on one of our senpais.

[You] Which one?

[Kenjirou] Semi Eita.  
[Kenjirou] hang on, I think he still has a picture on here.  
[Kenjirou] _Image attached_  
[Kenjirou] this guy.

[You] Oh, that guy

[Kenjirou] yeah.  
[Kenjirou] so once on our day off Shirabu went to Semi-senpai's dorm, dressed in his nice casual clothes, and knocked.  
[Kenjirou] when Semi-senpai answered, Shirabu was like "are you ready to go?" in that tsundere way of his

[You] Of course

[Kenjirou] and Semi-senpai's like "what the hell are you talking about, Shirabu?"  
[Kenjirou] and then Shirabu's like "our date today?"  
[Kenjirou] and then Semi-senpai says "what date?"  
[Kenjirou] and that's when Shirabu finally realized that he'd forgotten to ask Semi-senpai out.

[You] Holy shit, did that really happen?

[Kenjirou] yep.  
[Kenjirou] Shirabu just makes plans with his crushes and forgets to actually ask if these plans are ok first and then feels like an idiot when he realizes he forgot to ask.  
[Kenjirou] it's hilarious.

[You] Wait  
[You] Does that mean he has a crush on me?

[Kenjirou] ;)

[You] FUCK YES

[Kenjirou] also, just a friendly reminder:  
[Kenjirou] you break his heart and I'll have Tendou-senpai break your spirit. :)

[You] Noted

[Kenjirou] good.

[You] ...  
[You] You realize he's probably going to kill you now, right?

[Kenjirou] worth it.

[You] True

[Kenjirou] I'm giving him back his phone now, good luck.

[You] You too, Taichi-kun.

**7:58AM**

[Kenjirou] I'm going to kill Kawanishi.

[You] Please don't, he's cool

[Kenjirou] Don't defend him!

[You] But he told such a wonderful story  
[You] And gave the "If you hurt my best friend I hurt you" speech

[Kenjirou] Sigh.  
[Kenjirou] I hate you.

[You] No you don't :)

[Kenjirou] >:P

[You] HOLY FUCK SHIT IT'S EMOJI ACCOMPLISHMENT NUMBER TWO

[Kenjirou] "HOLY FUCK SHIT" SHUT YOUR FACE

**11:28AM**

[Kenjirou] Hey, um  
[Kenjirou] I'm sorry for the "making plans and forgetting to tell you and looking like a complete idiot" thing.

[You] It's ok  
[You] If you're still up for it, we could actually meet this Sunday :)

[Kenjirou] Are you sure?

[You] Yep!

[Kenjirou] Positive?

[You] I'm positive, Kenjirou

[Kenjirou] But what if you're not?

[You] I am

[Kenjirou] BUT WHAT IF YOU'RE NOT?

[You] Oh my god  
[You] Kenjirou, we're meeting this Sunday

[Kenjirou] Can you hear my sounds of anguish from Seijoh?

[You] I'm going to hug you for your two (2) emoji accomplishments

[Kenjirou] Jesus Christ.

[You] I'm going to bring a protractor to measure the angle of your bangs

[Kenjirou] Why are you doing this to me?

[You] We're going to compare blackmail folders at this cozy little ice cream shop I know

[Kenjirou] This sounds really gay.

[You] And we're going to talk about how stupid our friends and teammates are and hold hands and stuff  
[You] Okay?

[Kenjirou] This sounds really, REALLY gay, Shigeru.

[You] OKAY?

[Kenjirou] Okay, okay. Yes, we're going to do everything you just said. Are you happy now?

[You] You have no idea <3

[Kenjirou] ...  
[Kenjirou] <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter is a bit shorter than the previous four... oh well, the salty babs are gonna be meeting soon, so it's all good!
> 
> Attachments in order of appearance:  
> -a candid picture of Oikawa's butt, clad in a pair of alien boxers  
> -a picture of Semi, turned away to talk to someone off camera
> 
> Critiques are welcome!
> 
> -Neigma

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on Tumblr! We can scream about Haikyuu and stuff! neigma.tumblr.com


End file.
